For a while now, the topic of confidence has been on my mind to share. Confidence is an issue that I believe we all struggle with at some point in our lives. I believe this issue affects everyone and it doesn’t stop at race, color, age, gender or ethnicity. However, I believe that it affects females more than it affects males, especially young females.
I get asked from time to time where my confidence comes from or I will get a comment from someone telling me how confident I look. Truly, I am so humbled to hear this when it happens, but I assure you that this has not always been the case. In fact, I believe just recently I began dominating this confidence game.
Let’s go back up a little and let me tell you about my negative experience with confidence. I began experiencing confidence issues when I was in middle school. I was bullied some, so I am pretty sure that played a role in me not having confidence. In addition, I had a sense of not belonging, so I tried to “fit in the crowd.” Being that I was Mexican and petite there were not many people that I felt I fit in with, since there were few Hispanics at my school. And last, but certainly not least, I did not feel pretty at all. I am not really not sure why I did not feel pretty, but I would look at the other girls and think that they were so beautiful and that I was not anywhere close to being as beautiful as they were.
But my lack of confidence went beyond that and affected other areas of my life too. I wanted to be a cheerleader, but thought that I was not going to get accepted into the team so I never tried out. I didn’t think I had anything to offer and would sell myself short. I also hated getting up in front of the class to do a project or assignment, whether it was a group project or by myself, I dreaded it. I would get so nervous and feel like I was sweating, which would make me even more nervous.
I began gaining a bit of confidence when I was a junior in high school. I am not sure how it began, but I started feeling confident about myself and happy with whom I was. I no longer felt that I was not pretty and actually felt pretty, because all of us girls are pretty! 🙂 However, I honestly think that it was my passion for fashion that made me be confident in myself. I began to realize that people express differently, and that fashion is a way to express yourself. Sometimes we look at people and think we would never wear what they are wearing, but they wear that because that is how they are expressing who they are. They honestly could careless what others think because as long as they are happy expressing themselves that is all that matters. And that to me is being confident and slaying the confidence game.
See, sometimes we worry too much about what others think. Or when it comes to fashion, we might worry about wearing something that is no longer in style or trending. The truth is that what we wear is not what makes us look great. Who we are makes what we wear look great. So if you are confident, your confidence will shine right through you and that will make whatever it is that you are wearing look great on you. Likewise, you could wear a very expensive dress and very expensive shoes, but if you do not feel confident wearing that, you will not look your best.
Confidence comes from the inside. Sometimes it takes time before we are really slaying the confidence game. It’s taken me years, I would say about a decade, to be at the confidence level that I am now. Confidence in fashion is certainly something important to me however, my confidence has not stopped there for me and has opened so many doors for me.
I was the first person in my family to go to college, when my older siblings and the generations before me had not. I decided that I was going to move to California by myself and start a life there. I got the confidence to start my blog and continue blogging. But I think the most important thing that confidence has done in my life is that I am no longer afraid of public speaking. I still get nervous, but I get excited as well. And the excitement overpowers the nervousness. I remind myself that no matter what I do or what happens, it will be ok. That I cannot mess up and even if I do, we are all humans and things happen. I remind myself to BE myself, and that the best way to not mess up and to be confident is to be myself.
I can’t speak for everyone and tell you where their confidence comes from. However, I can share where my confidence comes from. As I said before, it took years to build my confidence. It was my life experiences that boosted my confidence. Every time I accomplished something that I didn’t think I could accomplish, it would boost my confidence and I knew that the next time I would do it a lot better and with confidence.
Something else that has build my confidence is to know what I want and where I want to be. Every time that I am doing something or about to do something I remind myself of what I want or the reason why I am doing what I am doing. I create a vision in my head of what will happen if I go through with it; of what the outcome will look like and because I want that outcome to happen I get really excited and the nerves fade away, and all of a sudden I am ready to do whatever it is that that needs to be done.
I will tell you that my confidence boosted by a thousand times when I came to know Jesus a year and a half ago. It is Him and God that give me the strength that I need to accomplish a goal, a dream; to go on with life without fear or anxiety about a situation about to come. Of course, I am human and from time to time I will be confronted with a situation that will make me anxious or make me want to give up on a dream, but I am reminded of who my God is and who I am in Christ and that fear and anxiety fade away. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13.
Confidence is to know that you can and that you will. Confidence is knowing that all eyes are on you, but you are perfectly ok with it, because you are confident in yourself – you trust yourself and you are happy with yourself. You could be wearing something out of your grandma’s closet, but you do not care, because you know that you will rock it and that’s all that matters. Confidence is believing in you, believing that you can do whatever it is that you set your mind to and celebrating that goal or dream because even though it has not been fulfilled yet, you know that soon it will.
Shoes: Steven Madden
Shorts: Gianni Bini